Spirituality

With shaking hands, Carla recounted the story of the car accident that had affected her life both emotionally and physically. As tears rolled down her face, Carla told me how her home and work life had been affected – and it was clear that depression was setting in.

Carla and I were meeting in my office for the first time – and in front of me sat a stressed, anxious woman whose future was about to be severely marred because of what had happened in the past. When Carla spoke about the crash, she recounted it as though it had happened three weeks ago. And yet, my next question revealed that Carla’s car accident had actually occurred five years ago.

With an uncanny accuracy, she recalled the whole ordeal. During the first year after the collision Carla had suffered from torn ligaments in her shoulder, which had prevented her from sleeping properly at night. However, even when the shoulder healed, the mental misery continued unabated – and now it was really taking its toll on Carla’s life.

With a young family, Carla needed to be able to drive her two eldest children to their after-school activities. And while Carla did indeed get behind the wheel for her children’s sake, every day was filled with dread as she played the accident over and over again in her mind.

Before the accident, Carla had been enthusiastic about life and had a shared vision with her husband about the family’s future. However, in the aftermath of the accident she had lost all her confidence.

Eventually, she had confessed to me that she had been persuaded to seek compensation for her injuries – and sobbing, she told me that litigation had taken three years out of her life. “The suggestion that I sue was against my instincts, but I believed that the money would come in useful, especially for my children.

“But the experience has just left me feeling emotionally scarred. For three years, my whole life was taken up with answering legal questions and having my life dissected. Even though I have now received the compensation money, I just can’t be bothered to spend it.”

Carla nodded when I suggested that perhaps the experience had left her feeling that she had sold her soul – and that the money she had been awarded felt “dirty”. Gently, I suggested that it was now time for Carla to “let go” of the past in order for her to “live” in the future rather than merely exist.

Using a blend of hypnotherapy and neuro linguistic programming techniques, I took Carla into a relaxed meditative state in which she was able to look at the accident and the subsequent events from a larger perspective.

In this state, Carla began to see that there had been some advantages in her life as a result of the accident. For example, instead of playing the “Superwoman” role, Carla had been forced to learn to accept help and support from her family and friends. She had also learned compassion – and a greater understanding that mental anguish can be as severely debilitating as physical pain.

Recognising that she had gained from the experience was helping Carla to put the last five years into a different context. And even though she was still in a deeply relaxed state, I could see that the heavily etched lines on Carla’s face were already beginning to recede.

Carla continued with the psycho-dynamic exercise, and under my direction, she chose to imagine a conversation taking place between herself and the car driver who had caused her suffering. After expressing her anger and torment, Carla then reached the point where she could choose to forgive the driver and accept what had happened. Thanking him for the lessons she had received through the accident, Carla – in her mind – asked the driver to leave, watching him leave the room and close the door firmly behind him.

When Carla returned to waking reality, her face was beaming. Smiling, she said that she felt free for the first time since the accident – and even more importantly, she knew that she was now able to create a future that was liberated from the pain of the past.

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