Spirituality

I'm at that place in life many refer to as "the dark night of the soul". My husband and I just finished and moved into our dream home. It was a life long dream come true for me. I thought my life would never be complete without it. Now here I am, one year later and I am going through the classic "what's next" question. I am bored and tremendously unchallenged by my career. And try as I might, I cannot think of another thing that interest or pulls me. I journal, I meditate, I read, I research and I analyze and still no answers come. I feel like I am going around and around the same old rut, the same old song. Why can I not find my passion? What is the matter with me?

So today when I was journaling and thinking of different careers to explore or different things to get involved with, I finally realized that I am extremely hungry for meaningful connection to others. To be involved with others with similar interests or goals. That lead me to the internet to look up women's network groups which lead me to Joan Anderson's book Unfinished Woman.

I have not read the book, but just reading the title made me feel better. That's me! That's it! I am unfinished! It helped me to realize that I was not alone. There are other other women out there with stale marriages, unfilling careers and not a clue about what to do about it. What a relief. Suddenly I don't feel responsible for coming up with the answers. It's okay to not have the answer. It's okay to be unfinished. I can relax because I know this time in the darkness is necessary and important before I find my new path.

All I can do is follow my heart each minute each day and find my way. Writing everyday is one way I am doing that. It feels good. Writing replenishes me. Who knows, maybe I will help others with my writing. Maybe I will find out writing is my passion. I would like that. But at the least I will have chronicled my journey of inner growth, transformation and rebirth. I even feel excited now.

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