Spirituality

If we don't behave according to a specific church's doctrine, will our guardian angels turn their backs on us? If we are struggling with our overall belief in God or we're questioning the validity of the holy books, will the angels abandon us? What if we believe in God and in the Bible, but we just feel like screwing off for awhile? Will they desert us? Do we have to be good and pure and perfect in order for angels to look after us?

I can only speak from my own experience. I was not raised in a church because my father is an atheist and my stepmother just didn't care either way. I have always had a few paranormal gifts that would come and go without warning. In my studies and research to figure out the scientific understanding of the paranormal, I found my own connection with the spirit world. I did not go out searching for guardian angels. They found me. They helped me with my studies and as a very skeptical person they've had to work very hard to prove to me that they were real and that they had my best interests in mind.

They have never left me. I have come to find signs over the years that long before they ever made their presence known to me, they were there looking over me. I had a rather wild and rebellious time during my late teens and early twenties. I absolutely did not believe in any kind of a god and I did not believe that the Bible was anything more than a bunch of greedy power-hungry men's rules for keeping the rest of humanity under wraps. Nevertheless, for all my negative beliefs, the angels watched over me. There are too many really stupid dangerous things that I did that should have killed me, too many times there is no other answer other than someone was looking over me and saving me from my own youthful choices. It wasn't until long after I'd calmed down and was behaving myself that they made themselves known.

I have spent a lifetime questioning the various religions, their churches, their leaders, their rules, and their lifestyles. I have never come to a rock solid conclusion that any of them are completely right or completely wrong. I may never know without a doubt that any one holy book is the one and only holy book. I personally have found a peace in knowing that all religions root in love. Love one another. Love yourself. Love your journey no matter where you are. My religious beliefs are a bit eclectic and I sort of like it that way. It works for me. I have no need to recruit anyone over to my beliefs because I can't even prove that what I believe is how it really is. My guardian angels have never ever left me because I question these things. They have never tried to convert me to any one religion. I get the sense that they know me well enough to know that it's the nature of me to question and explore.

Some say God created us in His own image. Then God must be an intelligent independent explorer. Some say we create God in our own image. Then God must be an intelligent independent explorer. Either way, wouldn't it make sense that if each of us is a unique and different person that each of us is going to have a unique and different version of what defines God? My angels never get angry or threaten to abandon me when I ask these kinds of questions. Instead, they beam out love and light and smile lovingly like proud grandparents watching their favorite grandchild explore the wonders of the earth. I only feel loved and blessed. Never have I sensed that they would ever leave me. They have promised that they won't.

I have had some very dark times since finding out that they are with me. I've gotten really angry at them. I've screamed at the heavens shaking my fist and cussing. They agreed to leave me alone for awhile but assured me that when I was ready, they'd be back. I was still protected but we didn't have the close chats about life that I'd come to love. Once, I wanted to do incredible harm to someone who had hurt me and my children. I was in the darkest ugliest most un-Christ-like place a person can be. Even through my angels refused to help me carry out my dark plots against this person, they never left me. When I was sorry for being so dark and was ready to heal and be happy again, they were right there to help me. Angels won't help you do bad deeds no matter how righteous you may feel, but they'll help you when you're ready to shift away from those dark desires.

From my own personal relationship with my own angels, I have to say no. No they won't leave you. They will always love you and will do everything they can to keep you on a good path, but if you want to screw up your life, they will stick by you but you won't get that loving beam of warmth. No matter who you are or what you've done, your angel is still there waiting to connect with you. If you don't want to connect they won't force you. If you're life is going fairly well, they may not even need to tell you that they're there. They aren't pushy. Others are more needy of that spiritual connection and need to feel the comforting and loving energy from them. Perhaps the reason mine have been so vocal is because I am such a brat at times? Some of us need to hear it loud and clear in order to believe it. Blind faith is a bizarre and twisted lesson, but I'm working on it.

Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge

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